Amy (stufurowntrky) wrote,
Amy
stufurowntrky

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I guess it's been too long.

New computer, which means the old mac is mine. YES.

No more school. Feels good. No more B Falcon. Feels better.

Let's see......I'm not so much in the mood to update months and months of living. I'm just going to disregard the past.

Things have been somewhat alright lately. I don't quite know what to do with myself yet. With all this free time, it's like getting off the moving sidewalk at the airport and stepping onto the regular floor. I guess I feel like something's missing. I don't know what. I wish I did.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now. I don't have any money, and everything feels so unfinished. I started cleaning my room but didn't finish. Nothing's organized. I'm still waiting for a reply from the Asparagus Festival, although I'm thinking a booth might set me back a little bit. The Strawberry Festival's off, as it's a gazillion miles away and $75 for a booth. I've got to make presents for grad parties. There too many dates to remember. I don't know. I might go insane.

It's now that I look back and regret spending money on pointless things. I spent it because I had it. Then I had to get a car and all of the money I saved disappeared. Hopefully I'll be able to rack up some money from graduation and feel more secure. Until then, I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I'm slipping.

I updated my library card. Having one feels awesome. They still had my name in the books from when I was little. The librarian who handled my card treated me like I was an outsider. I asked if I could use the computer, then asked if I had to have a library card. She stopped and looked at me for a few seconds like I was stupid, then continued with the process. It was sort of weird.

Graduation. Vegetation. Meditation. Concentration. Inspiration. Information.

We go camping this Saturday. It's going to be totally BOSS. Maris will hopefully be coming over Friday and leaving with us Saturday morn. I miss Manistee so much. I will finally get to go back. Oh, Pirate's Cove. How I love you.

Maybe the wilderness will give me the answer to my empty space problem. Maybe this space will be filled. If not, then, what the hell. At least I'll be away from the technology that consumes my daily life. Especially this new, bitch-ass, awesome, enormous, beautiful shit computer. It's SO incredible. I just can't look away.

Manistee = 3 days = escape = tranquility = beach = book = [hopefully] a new outlook on things.
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